oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
