you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
