Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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