Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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