he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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