Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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