You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
