You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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