Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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