I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
