I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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