Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
this must be what syphilis tastes like
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
