I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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