To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
