so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
