Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
