Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
