Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
