Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
