A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
