he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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