1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he was CRYING into my vagina
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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