i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We're not piercing ourselves today.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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