my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
