States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
