I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
