Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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