You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
