Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
