So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
