tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
