hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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