I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
