I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is it penis luge time yet?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
