you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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