one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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