he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
