When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
