I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
