at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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