Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
