Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
