under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
