I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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