he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
