it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
