I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
