Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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