how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
