party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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