Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
dude. I can hear the air.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
